little spiders(guitar amplifiers)

This is for my language arts class through ACE Academy.(#1)

I am going to list a paragraph that someone else wrote and I am going to say what I think of what they wrote sentence by sentence. Here is the Paragraph. Written by Leon Downs published by the Musicians friend catalog.

These smaller Spiders are basically intended as practice and jam amps, but don't think of them as wimpy. Even the 15 puts out enough sound to wake the entire block if you asked it to. It's certainly jam capable. The 30-watter can get flat out loud. It is perfectly gig capable and its easy-to-use layout makes it ideal on stage.

The topic sentenc does not really go with the conclusion and if the writter would hype the topic sentence up with higher vocabulary words and it would make the whole paragraph better by my standards. The second sentence is better just bacause it gives of more "spunk" which builds up more of an interest in the subject. As for the third paragraph(which i think is the worst of all)it is to simple and it doesn't feel like it fits into the paragraph, the only thing that it feels like is a filler to make it look longer. The same with the fourth. The concluding sentence is like I said it does not fit with the topic sentence.

This is the end of the first of these(can't remember what Mrs. Zeller's word for it).